Someone to love me more
by Jasmin Kaiba
Summary: She thinks of how much she loves her husband, reflecting on the one love she lost.


_**S**__**OMEONE TO **__**L**__**OVE **__**M**__**E **__**M**__**ORE**_

As I sit there, in that cozy kitchen, at seven o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, iddly sipping my hot tea, just so that I can say goodbye to my husband when he leaves on a business trip in an hour, I realize that _he_ was right. I haven't thought about _him_ in years and now I find my self remembering our last conversation. I look up at my husband and find him watching me with a loving smile that I can't help but return. And in moments like this, when our eyes meet and smiles are exchanged I know that I love this man more then anything and anyone that I have ever or ever will love. We share a beautiful, ever blossoming relationship, have three beautiful daughters, a lot of friends and not a single argument ever since our firstborn was 3 years old, that are now almost 15 years of a problemless marrige. How else could it be when God unites two people who are the definition of soul-mates?

And to think that some 25 years ago I thought I could never love this man, that I would die because of another. Destiny's ways sure are unfathomable. Now my husband would scoff at me believing in Destiny, but _he, he _would say that I was right and no human is supposed to ever know the ways of Destiny. But _he_ knew them, because _he_ was a part of Destiny. Sometimes I belive that _he_ **was** Destiny. _He_ had said to me that The Future has opened her doors for _him_ to let _him _see what would happen. I didn't belive _him_, thinking that _he _just wanted to comfort me.

And now as I think about _him_ memories pull me back in another time, when I was a teenager and was first experiencing love and problems that come with it.

I remember clearly the day I realized I was in love with _him_, I remember as if it had happened yesterday...

**Flashback, 28 years ago, Domino City Mall**

**We sit there in our booth, slowly eating our hamburgers and I chat aim and endlessly about nothing and everything. He listenes to every my word and we share an occasional laugh. I'm thankful to Yugi for giving us this opportunity to be together once again. I know that I shouldn't be thinking this way, that I should enjoy my time with my best friend, but I just want to get to know the enigmatic Pharaoh. I can't help but feel drawn to him. He looks up at the absence of my chatter and our eyes meet. I swear that my heart has just skipped a beat as his amethyst orbs regard me warmly. How can a human being, a man, be so utterly and completely beautiful?**** Now I start asking myself what he looked like when he had his own body, was he taller, stronger built? Was he tanned like Marik? This after all is just a resamblance of his true self, seeing that he inhabits Yugi's body. But that does not matter. He is beautiful the way he is, my height, lean, slightly muscular (I've once seen him shirtless, oh dear...), pale skinned and those eyes that were really the key that I figured he wasn't simply 'another Yugi', that he was an different person alltogether. A 5000 year old ghost of a Pharaoh that sacrified his soul to save the world, and who came back when the same threat arose 5000 years after his death.**

**He's only here to fulfill his destiny, to save the world once again, but I do not wish to think what would happen when he saved it.**

**His deep voice shook me out of my thoughts :**

**"****Tea, are you alright? "**

**I shuddered at the sound of my anme from his lips. Looking up and once again meeting his eyes I smiled sheepishly and answered :**

**"****Yes, of course. Don't worry about me Yami, I was just thinking, that's all. "**

**He slightly nodded his head but kept his eyes on mine. I could drown in those beautiful amethyst orbs. And in this moment I realize that I'm hoplessly in love with this man.**

**End flashback**

Little did I know at that time that he was feeling the same towards me, but that our love would never be, for we weren't supposed to fall in love with each other. Him, a spirit with a destiny to fulfill and me, a cheerleader, a tag-along in a group of heeros. We simply weren't meant to be. But that, on the other end didn't mean that I knew or could accept that as the time came for him to leave our world. That is one of the most painful but also one of the most cherished memories I have. After all I have loved him with all my being...

**Flashback, 27 years ago, on the ship headed to the ruins**

**All I have done, since the ship had left the harbour was thinking. Of him. Only of him, the only guy I have ever loved. I almost broke down as we came back from his Memory World and the Ishtars told us that Atem had to be defeated in a duel to be able to finally go into the world of death where he belonged. Why does he have to go back? Why does he have to leave me? I don't want him to leave, I don't want him to die! I want him to stay with me, to love me... I just don't want him to leave... I don't want to lose him... I love him so much...**

**I know that the others are probably asking themselves where I am, for I haven't left my room since we decided that Atem would duel Yugi as his last opponent. But I just couldn't be with them and hearing them 'celabrate' Atem's death. I know that they all mean it good, that they're just happy for Atem, but I didn't understand why Atem wanted to leave us, leave me... Doesn't he like it here? Isn't he happy here? Maybe he doesn't like us? Maybe he doesn't like me?... Ok, yes, now I'm being irrational. I mean if didn't like us he wouldn't have been with us all this time and helped us so many times, and if he didn't like me he wouldn't have had saved my sorry ass so many times that I lost count. But why the heck does he have to leave?! I just don't understand it! I don't want to cry anymore, but I can't stop...**

**A few minutes ago I came back from Yugi's room, I wanted to ask Yugi to talk to Atem but couldn't do it. Yugi is my best friend and it seemed that all he'd been in the last few months was just someone whom Atem had to share a body with. And all I have done was defend Atem, talk about Atem, and asking to talk to Atem, I just couldn't do that to Yugi now, I just couldn't...**

**I starteled and wiped at my face as I heard a knock on my door. I got up and opened not really interested in who it was.**

**"Hello, Tea... "**

**I almost got an heart attack as I heared that deep soothing voice that could only belong to one person, and that person was ...**

**"Atem... "**

**His name from my lips was barely a whisper and he smiled upon hearing it.**

**"May I come in, Tea? "**

**I guess you could say that I was pretty confused for a few seconds, I mean there stands the man that I desperately wanted to talk to and thought it was impossible.**

**As I heared him asking if he may come in I just laughed a little and moved aside:**

**"Yes, of course. Come on in... "**

**I'm not very good at masking my emotions and Atem is excellent in reading them.**

**"You've been crying. Don't be sad Tea. I wouldn't want you of all people mourning this like it's something bad... "**

**That did it and the waterworks started again. Let's just say that I was also a bit frustrated.**

**"Do you want to tell me that this isn't something bad?! Is something wrong with you Atem?! How isn't this bad?! This isn't bad, this is terrible! We're losing you and you stay cool as if you're about to go on a vacation and not in your death! Maybe it isn't so bad for you, but for us it is! Have you thought about us and our feelings for a minute?! Have you thought how we think about all this?! Have you thought of poor Yugi and what he has to go through?! Have you thought about ME and how I feel?! You have no idea Atem! You have no idea how much this hurts me, how much I love you...! "**

**I broke down and the tears strted to fall uncontrolably down my face. I could hear my sobs revibrating against the metal walls and cried even harder. I fell to my knees, clutching my arms around myself and almost chocking on my own tears and saliva.**

**I began rocking myself back and forth, my eyes wide and unseeing, tears streaming down my cheeks. I was nearing a mental break-down.**

**I came back to myself first when I felt Atem's arms around me, shaking me slightly and frantically calling my name.**

**"Tea! Tea! Come on Tea, don't do this! Tea, come on look at me! Tea please! "**

**I stopped sobbing and looked up at him.**

**"... A ... Atem ...?... "**

**"Yes! Yes, Tea, it's me. Calm down, Tea, I'm here, I'm with you... I love you... I love you... I really do... Oh, Tea! "**

**I turned to him and embraced him with all my might, still crying but menaging to control the tears.**

**"Than don't do this! Don't leave me! God knows I won't be able to survive without you! I need you, I need you more than you can imagine! Please don't leave me Atem, I love you!"**

**His eyes softened and he began caressing my back and head, while murming :**

**"I know, Tea, I know. But I have to go. I dodn't belong in this world. My time here was over 5000 years ago. If it weren't for the Items and the Shadow Games I wouldn't be here now. But I had a destiniy to fulfill and I did just that. We both know that even if I had my own body I wouldn't belong here, in this time. I have back my name and my memories, I've changed history for a better future, but I miss them Tea. I miss them terribly. My father, Seto, my priests, Mana, Mahad, Solomon, even my uncle. I wasn't able to help them, but I want to be with them, to see them happy. I want to once see my cousin and dearest friend and counsler Seto happy, and I know he is, there where I too belong. He's there, happy with his Kisara and I just want to once see him smile, a true smile. My Tea, my sweet, beautiful Tea, you can live without me, my heart. You'll survive, I know it my sweet Goddess. When you and the others brought me back my name, you gave me my memories back and as I was finally able to defeat Zorck, the Future opened her doors for me and showed my what would happen. And I saw you, my heart, you were happy, laughing and smiling, all thanks to a man who'll love you more than the whole world, more than his own life. You'll be his everything and he'll be yours. I'm not saying that you'll stop loving me, or that you'll forget me, for you will not, but you will love this man more than you ever dreamed of loving me. He'll give you everything I cannot, beautiful children, love, warmth and a life full of happiness. You'll wake up in the mornings knowing that there is that one person that depends soley on you. Trust me on that one Tea, and wait for him, he'll be there when you need him the most, and he'll be patient, he'll love you and wait for you to love him back, proving that you mean the life to him time and time again, before your stubborn self realises that he also means the life to you. Have faith in my words and his love that is slowely awakening as we speak, my heart. "**

**End flashback**

And he'd been right, oh he'd been right. I can remember the shock as Seto Kaiba started paying attention to me. At first it had been scary, how he tried to be nice, till than one day he came to me to tell me that he loved me. I cursed Atem to Seven Hells for not telling me it was Seto Kaiba that'll become the love of my life. Even if I had denied believing what Atem told me that night, I realized it was true as my heart strted skipping beats and my breath started hitching in my throat whenever I saw Seto. But eventually I gave in to those feelings blossoming withing me, well not before giving Seto sleepless nights and tortuing his poor heart. I confesed my love to Seto one day and he'd been so overjoyed that we wanted to marry right away. Of course we didn't do that. We waited four months. After all he had spent almost six years pursuing my heart. But as we married new problems started arising. I couldn't get pregnant, my friends didn't approve of my choice of husband, my parents complained that we married too quickly... We argue and argued... Eventually after a year of marrige I decided to leave Seto. That didn't go too well. I felt miserable after I left our house, my appetite started dropping, I couldn't sleep, the only thing I did was crying. My parents and friends tried, for almost three months, unsuccesfully, to get me to anulate my marrige with Seto. I refused.

After those tortuous three months of Hell I came back to Seto, hearing one morning that he tried to kill himself. I stayed with him, turning my back to my parents and friends, Seto after all was more important to me. A month after I came back to him, we realized that I was pregnant. Nine months later I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Overjoyed we gave her the name Hope. Exactly three years later, on Hope's third birthday, were we blessed with another baby girl. This one was named Stella. On Hope's fifteenth and Stella's twelfth birthday, we got another daughter, Love.

Life had been good to us since Hope, but first as Stella was born did we truly live a happy life. Our daughters reflect everything we felt and went through. Hope was our ray of hope as we needed it the most, Stella was the lucky star that seemed to constantly shine upon us, and our baby Love is just that, our love.

I cast a look at the clock on the wall and get up, just in time with Seto. He bends down and kisses me lightly before turning to get his suitcases.

We hear noise from upstairs as Hope, Stella and Love come running down the stairs, all three still in pajamas, Love in Hope's arms. They come to stop before us and I take my baby girl from Hope. Even though Love is three years old, she's still our little baby.

I watch and smile lovingly as Hope embraces Seto and he gives her a kiss on the forehead. Hope is almost as tall as Seto is and reaches him with ease, but has to bend down to let Stella hug him, because she's still a little shorter than I am. Both Stella and Hope have recieved kisses and kissed their father on his cheeks and now he turns to me and Love reaches her little arms towards him .

"Daddy!"

Seto takes her in his arms and kisses her little cheeks, her forhead, even the tip of her nose, and Love leaves little wet kisses all over his face. He cuddles her a little more then hands her to Hope who is standing to my right.

I move towards him and pull him into a hug which he returns gladly. We stay like that for a moment, simply enjoying being in each other's arms. Then we kiss and he whispers in my ear:

"I love you. Try not to miss me too much."

I laugh and he kisses me one last time before leaving.

I usher the girls back to bed, seeing as it is only 8 o'clock and return to our bedroom, snuggling up on his side of the the bed and falling into deep sleep, already missing him.

**The End**


End file.
